i took it with her and was exceptionally nervous when it started to hit me i could barely register what was happening so scared i clung to him for reassurance and help standing up he pulled me up from the ground my four inch heels scratching the dark wood of his floor don't leave me i begged i ripped my fur cuffs off it was too hot it was working i sipped water from a children's cup to keep me from chewing the insides of my cheek raw he took me outside for the cool air it will calm you down he promised i chattered in my leather and fur keeping my body turned into his all i could think was please don't die back in the house i kept two fingers on my pulse faster faster my heart was working furiously to pump the poison through me
stop
it was too hot get these things off of me
in the cab, we were all rolling with the tides i sat on my hands but kept wishing he would hold them we were driving too fast flashes of faces and fastfood on my cold window it was way too warm in the taxi on the leather seats the cold window felt nice i needed a cigarette my fur vest kept me warm i caught a glance of myself while waiting in line where had the blue in my eyes gone it was all black please don't die fuck the scale wasn't working how much had i taken
inside there would be music and water my eyes were the one thing keeping me from getting inside she didn't know and the other one hadn’t taken enough
inside
i don't know how much money to give for what five dollars fifty dollars it was hard i made it through he told me to stick to her or had he said to stick with him i didn't want to upset him so i didn't ask
dancing
it was going to be okay my nipples hardened as my bodysuit soaked with more sweat so much wetness everywhere i slapped my legs together so many kisses his breath was like a lion's lick on my hot neck she was drunk she was desperate songs and glasses of water were running right through me what time to go why was he leaving me he said he wouldn't leave my side the fat sweaty hands of too many men found their way to my naked spine get the fuck away from me why had he left me i was so happy why was i being mean dentyne kept me from screaming
time to go
walking home it was below zero but i was toasted i shuffled down the street draped in my fur and dripping with sweat i wasn't going to die
ladies where are you coming from a distinctively dark voice of the night asked we were surrounded by fat leather studs blocked my way the darker one was pulling something out of a bag stop dead in my tracks
two hours later
in bed with him we are both crying my mouth is dry and tastes like pot i love you so much
